You Might Be a Grandma

I will begin by apologizing to any men reading this article. I do not intend to embarrass anyone.

I have a 5-year-old granddaughter who is intelligent, inquisitive and incredibly fun! I will call her Sparkle. Sparkle is like a little sprite. When she is at my house, she pops up unexpectedly wherever I happen to be—in the laundry area, in the kitchen and even in the bathroom. On Monday I was dressing in the bathroom, thinking that Sparkle was busily engaged watching Nick Jr. on television in the living room. I had my jeans on and was addressing my top half, fastening my bra in the front with the intention of turning it around the right way immediately thereafter. Suddenly, from behind me came Sparkle’s confused comment, “Grandma, I think you have that on backwards.”

I am happy to be a card-carrying grandma, and maybe you are too. Suffice it to say: You Might Be a Grandma If:

  • Your patio door is covered with tiny handprints that you cannot bring yourself to clean off.
  • Your shopping cart contains, in addition to Centrum Silver Multivitamins: Thomas the Train Toothpaste, Hello Kitty Band-aids, a My Little Pony sticker book, and a giant, economy size jug of Gazillion Bubbles.
  • You get a 30% off coupon from Kohl’s and decide it is a perfect time to buy yourself some new clothes. You exit the store with a total of six outfits: two in size 6X, two in size 2 Toddler, and two in size 18 Months.
  • Your granddaughter tells you that you look beautiful in your tent-size, sparkly, butterfly print bathing suit, and you believe her.
  • You wear your red and green striped, light-up, candy cane earrings in June because your grandchild picked them out for you that morning.
  • You tie a sheet around your neck, cape-style, and play Superheroes in the front yard while wearing hair curlers.
  • Some of your best friends are Big Bird, Peppa Pig, Max and Ruby, and the Bubble Guppies.
  • You have a bouquet of dandelions on your kitchen table; a collection of pretty, dried-up leaves on your coffee table; and so many crayon drawings on your refrigerator that you’ve forgotten what color your fridge is.
  • You can read The Cat in the Hat without once having to look at the words.
  • You offer adult guests a glass of iced tea and ask if they prefer the Cinderella glass or the Dora the Explorer one.
  • You always have time to have a tea party, play Patty Cake, draw a hopscotch frame on the sidewalk, push a swing, work a jigsaw puzzle, kiss a boo-boo, read a story, color a picture, or rock a baby.

The writer of Psalm 128 speaks blessings on the people of God, and one of them is this: “May you live to see your children’s children.” I have found this to be a blessing indeed. All you other grandmas say “Amen!”

5 thoughts on “You Might Be a Grandma”

  1. Oh, so true! I’ve heard it said that becoming a grandparent is the only thing that is NOT over-rated!!!! (And I’ll add to your list: going to Walmart with stickers on your blouse because your granddaughter placed them for you to look “pretty” and please don’t ever take them off…)

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