Why is it even necessary to advertise bathroom tissue? This household product is as essential to life as air. All of us buy it and will continue to buy it until we become incapable of making decisions for ourselves. At that point, other people will buy it for us. Its sales will never hit bottom.
Most shoppers select at random whatever brand of bathroom tissue is displayed at eye level on the store shelf. A few careful consumers determine the number of sheets per roll of tissue and the number of rolls per package and divide those numbers into the total cost of the product and choose the cheapest one. No one, absolutely no one, chooses bathroom tissue in order to “enjoy the go,” or “to go commando,” or to experience the “ideal balance of softness and strength.”
Manufacturers of bathroom tissue who pay big bucks to promote their product are flushing good money down the toilet. People will buy their product whether it is advertised or not, and in the end, one brand is as good as another.
No laundry detergent will remove from a white T-shirt a stain comprised of chocolate, grape juice, mud, lipstick, crayon, grass stain, blood and motor oil. Regardless of how many times I am shown before-and-after proof of such miracles on television, I do not believe the ads.
If you tell me that your car dealership has the largest selection of high-quality, low-mileage cars and trucks in the Midwest, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. If you claim that your brand of mattress assures perfect alignment of the neck, back and hips and guarantees 20 years of restful sleep, I won’t question your honesty.
But try convincing me that a certain brand of laundry detergent will remove the stain on the front of a onesie that has been serially saturated with the slobber of four siblings, and I will call you a liar right out of the box, or right out of the 64-ounce, recyclable, plastic bottle.
I cringe when I see the television advertisement for life insurance that shows an insensitive young woman, who, upon hearing that her aging father has suffered a potentially serious fall, immediately urges her mother to buy life insurance.
While she is at it, why doesn’t the daughter go ahead and encourage her mother to clean out the attic before she dies so the daughter won’t have to do it herself?
Where is the concern for her father that this daughter should be showing? Where are the reassuring words and warm embraces? Where is the love?
“Where,” the daughter asks, “are your CD’s, your jewels, your deed to the house and title to your car? Where have you hidden money inside the house? How quickly can I cash in your assets when you and dad kick off?”
As a consumer, I am fed up with these disgusting, deceitful and disrespectful television ads. They make me so angry I would quit watching television entirely were it not for the highly educational, morally pure and enormously entertaining shows such products sponsor.
©Debbie Scales January 21, 2016 594 Words