Of Politics and iPhones

While watching television coverage of the 2016 presidential campaign, I have been introduced to several new words and phrases. Because I enjoy improving my vocabulary, I now try to use those terms in my everyday speaking and writing.

I have found that I can use many of these newly-learned words and phrases when describing, of all things, my experiences with my new iPhone.

Below I will state the dictionary definition of a term, followed by a sentence that uses the term as it relates to politics.  I will then use that word or phrase in a sentence pertaining to the use of my new iPhone.

 

The word pundit refers to a person who is an expert in some area.  Laura Ingraham is a political pundit whose opinions many people value.

My seven-year-old granddaughter is the electronics pundit who advises me on the use of my iPhone.  More than ever before, I fear being “left to my own devices.”

 

The word existential is an adjective that refers to existence.  Politicians list pollution, poverty and widespread violence among the existential threats to life on this planet.

Learning to use my new iPhone poses an existential threat to my sanity.

 

A caucus is a meeting of people whose goal is political or organizational change.  The Iowa caucus was held on February 1, 2016.  Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz were declared winners of that caucus.

I considered convening a family caucus to help me learn to use my iPhone.  Doing so, however, would have invited relentless ridicule from the people I love most and who cannot understand why using an iPhone is so difficult for me.  In no way would I be declared the winner of that caucus.

 

Gender gap refers to the differences between men and women.  Political pundits claim that a gender gap exists in voters’ assessments of this year’s presidential candidates.

Anyone who has worked with a spouse to load a dishwasher, hang wallpaper, or pack luggage into the trunk of a car is well aware of the differences between men and women.  There is no need to throw a cutesy phrase like “gender gap” into that mess.  We have plenty of other words and phrases to throw.

My own research indicates that a gender gap does not appear to exist in people’s ability to use an iPhone.  An age gap, however, has been clearly identified.

 

In political jargon, front burner is where an issue is placed when it must be dealt with immediately.  Foreign policy is a front burner issue among many American voters.

The ignited front burner (of my kitchen stove) is where I want to place my iPhone every time I cut someone off in mid-conversation by accidentally bumping my phone’s keypad with my chin.

 

The abbreviation GOP stands for Grand Old Party, the nickname for the Republican Party.  Donald Trump was declared the winner of the New Hampshire GOP Primary.

On the day that I master texting, emailing, sending and receiving calls, surfing the Internet, using the phone’s GPS, backing up my information on the Cloud, and taking and storing photos of the grandkids using my iPhone, I plan to host a GOP.  That will probably happen sometime around 2020, just in time for the next election.

 

Debbie Scales            February 14, 2016            553 Words

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6 thoughts on “Of Politics and iPhones”

    1. Thanks, Julie. I just spent an hour at the library getting my iPhone set up to check out books on their e-listening device. It would have taken a younger person five minutes, I’m sure.

  1. Deb you crack me up!! You will love it when you get into it, text me sometime… LOL.
    The phone is truly a blessing to technology. I love having a phone for so many reasons.
    Thanks for you stories… I love them!
    Teena

    1. Teena, Thanks for reading and commenting! You’re 15 or so years younger than I am so your brain is not quite as wrinkled up as mine is. That’s why the iPhone isn’t so hard for you. Just wait! 🙂

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