. . . when your grandpa sharpened your school pencil with his pocket knife?
. . . when your mom gave you and your siblings half sticks of chewing gum?
. . . when you wore bread wrappers for winter boots and stomped down in the middle of oil cans to make clogs?
. . . when you could tell if a doll was a real Barbie or a fake one by the way her legs worked when you set her down?
. . . when you used Big Chief writing tablets?
. . . when girls wore those cross-shaped necklace pendants that had a jewel in the center that you could squint into with one eye and read the Lord’s Prayer?
. . . when soda pop bottles had crimped metal lids with cork inside?
. . . when your mom poured warm sweet oil into your ear or your dad blew smoke into it when you had an earache?
. . . when mean kids ripped the fruit loops off boys’ shirts?
. . . when you made long paper chains out of gum wrappers?
. . . when girls often heard the words “It’s snowing down south.”?
. . . when you turned on a ceiling light by pulling on a piece of cotton twine?
. . . when your school class was divided into reading groups called the Blue Birds, the Red Birds, and the Yellow Birds?
. . . when teachers handed out test papers that were ice cold and smelled of mimeograph ink?
. . . when teenage girls rolled straight hair on empty frozen orange juice cans and ironed wavy hair with a hot iron?
. . . when your mom and grandma unfolded and wore those tacky plastic head coverings that tied under the neck when it rained?
. . . when the school cafeteria always served fish sticks on Friday?
. . . when you used concealed rubber bands to keep your knee socks up?
. . . when kids put those metal clicker things in their shoes and made loud noises every time they took a step?
. . . when your mom dabbed red merthiolate (stung like crazy) or mercurochrome (didn’t sting at all) on your scrapes and cuts?
. . . when girls dipped a comb into water, ran it through their hair, and put in brush rollers that they slept in all night?
. . . when teenage boys thought they were cool when they flipped the back of a girl’s bra through her blouse?
. . . when kids made paper fortune tellers out of paper and could tell you whom you would marry and how many kids you would have?
. . . when you made craft projects using that mucilage glue that had a rubber top with a slit in it?
. . . when ice cream came in those little individual cups with a wooden spoon taped on the top?
. . . when you made up silly names for students who were “absent” when a substitute teacher asked the class if anyone wasn’t there?
. . . when you were sure you would be able to see the minute hand on a clock move if you focused hard enough?
Ahhh, the good old days.
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