Judge Knott is a people-watcher, and rarely does she watch people doing anything good. Everywhere she looks, she sees them failing to train their children, buying things they don’t need, visiting places they should avoid, giving too little money to good causes, and worshiping in ways she cannot endorse.

Just today at Wal-Mart she observed a young mother, two babies in her cart and another one hanging onto the frayed end of her short shorts, screeching at her children to BE QUIET BEFORE I BEAT YOUR BUTT. Boy, this woman needed some lessons in effective parenting. Probably isn’t even married, Judge Knott scoffed.

Another girl, modeling skin-tight leotards and an off-the-shoulder midriff top, scrutinized the Dolly Madison snack aisle. As if she needed to eat more junk food. The seams of her leotards already strained to hold in her bulk. She looked like an overinflated football. As the girl bent over to pick up a package of Ho-Hos, her tramp stamp was displayed for all to see. Judge Knott barely missed careening her cart into a display of Heinz pickles.

Judge Knott’s own family members weren’t much better. Buying boats, motorcycles, monster trucks, and the latest electronic gadget to hit the market. Don’t these morons realize that people are starving on the other side of the world? But are they ever seen mailing care packages or supporting missionaries? No, they are not. Selfish is what they are.

Judge Knott often observes her next-door neighbor, the one with the spiked blue hair, bringing women home every night of the week. Not classy women either. The kind of women who hang around bars half naked and make it plain to everyone what they are after. Sodom and Gomorrah.

The neighbor on the other side of her wears a cross around her neck but goes to church at that place downtown called Come One, Come All or some other equally ridiculous name. Doesn’t this woman have a Bible? Probably has one but never reads it. If she did, she would know God’s rules about worshiping the right way.

The whole world is going to hell in a hand basket, Judge Knott laments that evening, as she settles into her La-Z-Boy and reaches for her TV remote control. She leaves her curtains open so she can monitor the behaviors of the people outside.

She wishes she had friends to go places with her or to sit and watch TV with her. She looks down at her empty hands and wishes she had something to do and someone to do it with. She feels lonely and purposeless.

If only she had something to do.

It never occurs to Judge Knott that she may need to address some faults in her own life. By her calculations, she stands head and shoulders above the people around her.

If you too stare at idle hands while condemning the people in your world, consider making a few changes in yourself. Find ways to help people who are addicted to food, sex, drugs, or materialism; young mothers who are raising their children without husbands; and those who are searching for a Truth they know exists out there somewhere.

Self-appointed judges are sad, lonely people. If you doubt this, remember Judge Knott.