The Loser

I am a loser and I can prove it.

About half an hour ago, I made myself a glass of iced tea. Then I lost it before taking a single drink. At the time, I was moving back and forth between cleaning my kitchen, responding to texts, and working on blog pieces.

I searched through every room that I had been in this morning. I searched through each of those rooms again. I searched through rooms I didn’t remember having been in today. For a third time, I searched through the rooms I had been in.

Just as I was giving up and heading to the kitchen to make myself a new glass of tea, I saw the top two inches of a drinking glass sticking up out of a deep-pocketed drink holder in our double recliner.

Losing my glass of tea is not a big problem. I endured no unwanted consequences from that loss other than realizing that, once again, I had lost something I should not have lost.

Yesterday, I took my granddaughters to the splash park in Greenwood. Before we left the house, I gathered swimsuits, towels, sunscreen, my purse, some ice water, my phone, and my two girls.

The younger girl, Twinkle, was wearing her sunglasses. I put the sunglasses belonging to the older girl, Sparkle, into the Wal-Mart bag with the towels and other things.

When we got out of the car at the park, Twinkle was not wearing her sunglasses.

“Where are your sunglasses?” I asked her.

“I don’t know.”

“Weren’t you wearing them when we left the house?”

“I don’t know.”

I did a cursory search of the back seat of my car. No sunglasses.

I opened the bag containing the towels, etc. to get Sparkle’s sunglasses. They were not there.

“Do you know where your sunglasses are?” I asked her.

“No. You had them.”

I got Twinkle changed into her swimsuit in the back seat of the car. Sparkle had decided she would not splash; she would just play on the playground. I greased both girls down with sunscreen, particularly the pale-skinned redhead.

I dumped the contents of the Wal-mart bag out into the back of my car to conduct another search for Sparkle’s sunglasses. No luck.

I positioned both girls safely on the sidewalk away from traffic and re-searched the back seat more thoroughly for Twinkle’s glasses. In the netherworld beneath her carseat,  I found the sunglasses, along with three crayons, several pretzel pieces, some melted M&M’s, and a dime-store necklace.

I returned to the sidewalk to retrieve the girls. There I opened my purse to drop in my car keys, and I spotted Sparkle’s sunglasses inside my purse.

We spent about an hour playing at the park and about an hour looking for things so we could play at the park. I guess it all came out evenly.

Earlier this week I lost a can of cream of mushroom soup I had taken from my pantry to use in making a crock-pot dinner. I also lost my gardening gloves, my earphones, my house slippers, my toilet scrubber, the necklace my husband brought me from the Dominican Republic, my white sweater that does not have the stained front, and my eyeglasses. I estimate I lost my phone approximately 176 times.

The world moves on. People feed the hungry, rescue the stranded, start and end wars, and work to shut down Planned Parenthood. They watch baby giraffes being born, princesses showing off their babies, and movie stars throwing temper tantrums. They clip coupons and buy gas. They smile and wish everyone a nice day.

Me? I look for things I’ve lost.

12 thoughts on “The Loser”

  1. I can certainly relate. I lost a pair of pants mom made Rena and I knew they had not left the sewing room. I also liked it alot better when you had a land line and the phone stayed in the same place all the time. I never know where my phone is. It is sad that all these modern conveniences doesn’t seem to make life better. I should stop talking before I get on my soapbox.

    1. The toilet scrubber didn’t show up. I’m guessing it got tossed out with the bathroom trash.

      I was glad I didn’t find it inside a kitchen cabinet or on a living room shelf. Then I would have known I was really over the edge!

  2. I would have remarked sooner, but I couldn’t find my glasses. 🙂 I try to think of how much exercise I get just walking all over the house looking for things! And the sweating from the stress, I’ll call that releasing toxins from my body!

  3. A day in the life… As long as you don’t lose your sense of humor, right? Thanks for this smile, Debbie. 🙂

  4. I can so relate to this post. Today I just found a pair of my favorite earrings I lost a week ago. Where, you ask? On my daughter’s dresser beneath a paper bag. Not sure how that happened!?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s