Many people believe that in prehistoric times, men were hunters and women were gatherers.
Even today, in my wifely role, I consider myself to be the gatherer.
More than anything else, I gather information.
And it’s a good thing.
Were it not for me, Dan would be clueless about some very important facts about our grandchildren: their shoe sizes, for example; how many teeth the older ones have lost and how many new teeth the baby one has cut. He probably wouldn’t even know their birthstones.
Fortunately for him, he has me to keep him informed. Of course, being the gatherer I am, I also share information about our neighbors and friends.
But information doesn’t seem to be as important to Dan as it is to me. In fact, sometimes I suspect he isn’t even listening when I try to update him.
I can imagine Dan and me in the hunter/gatherer community of the Stone Age. He would be returning from a two-day hunt with the men after I had stayed in our cave community with the other women.
Upon his return, I would be eager to talk, and we would have a conversation something like the one below.
DAN = OOG; DEBBIE = AWK
AWK: Hey, Oog, welcome home! Nice-looking deer you’ve got slung over your shoulders.
AWK: Say, did you and the guys talk much on your trip?
OOG: No, Awk. We were hunting.
AWK: I know you were hunting, but I was hoping Cermook told you about the fight he and his wife had last week.
OOG: They had a fight?
AWK: You know they did. I told you about it. I heard them screaming at each other that night I was outside throwing rocks at the moon with the grandkids.
OOG: You threw rocks at the moon with the grandkids?
AWK: Of course! We always throw rocks at the moon when one of them makes the honor roll, and Kzu made the honor roll last semester.
OOG: Kzu made the honor roll?
AWK: You know he did. Snok made the honor roll, too.
OOG: Who’s Snok?
AWK: My niece.
OOG: You have a niece?!
AWK: So, what else did you guys do on your trip besides hunt?
AWK: Well, I kept busy here. I finally finished the necklace I’ve been working on. Remember? The one I made by stringing pine cones on grape vines?
OOG: You’ve been working on a necklace?
AWK: I would love to know what they were fighting about.
AWK: Cermook and his wife.
OOG: They had a fight?
AWK: I heard they fought because Cermook didn’t get a very warm welcome from his wife the last time he came home from a hunting trip.
AWK: Don’t you want to know why Cermook didn’t get a very warm welcome from his wife the last time he came home from a hunting trip?
OOG: Who didn’t give Cermook a warm welcome?
AWK: His wife!
OOG: Cermook’s married?!
AWK: By the way, I helped Sontaag deliver her baby while you men were away.
OOG: Sontaag was pregnant?
AWK: Didn’t her husband talk about that on your hunting trip?
AWK: Men! He probably hadn’t even noticed she was pregnant.
OOG: Who hadn’t noticed who was pregnant?
AWK: Forget it. Get cleaned up and take me down to Rocky’s Rhino Roadhouse for supper. That’ll give me a chance to show off my new necklace.
OOG: You have a new necklace?
AWK: Haven’t you been listening to me?
OOG: Yes, dear.