SAY IT ISN’T SO!

Lean in closely while I whisper something in your ear.

Please don’t overreact, and don’t SAY anything.

Wait for it.

Here it is.

“I don’t like to travel.”

WHAT?? YOU DON’T LIKE TO TRAVEL?!!!”

Go ahead. Grab your phone and fire up your computer. Broadcast that blasphemous statement, and be sure to credit it to me.

To some people, my saying, “I don’t like to travel” is equivalent to saying:

  • “I’m glad Bambi’s mother got shot.”
  • “I dump my trash in the Ohio River, and I’m proud of it.”
  • “Bring on higher taxes and fewer benefits.”

In her wonderful piece at https://www.huffpost.com/entry/i-dont-want-to-travel, Jenna Woginrich writes:

Somehow getting on a plane and going far away became the highest form of purchasable enlightenment. To experience real life is to experience it somewhere else.

If travel is being recreationally uncomfortable in a controlled environment ― I chose the opposite.

(Jenna lives as a homesteader and hasn’t left her farm for a single night in over five years.)

I’m with Jenna.

Leave me at home. Go. Have fun. Bring back pretty photos and funny stories.

I’ll look. I’ll listen. I’ll be pleasant, but I won’t envy you the trip.

Maybe I will receive less condemnation if I say, “I like being at home.”

At home I take comfort in knowing:

  1. Where my nail clippers are.
  2. Which restaurants I like.
  3. Where I can park.
  4. That I can savor a beautiful garden tomorrow if I skip it today.
  5. That I’m not interfering with other people’s plans if I decide to take a nap.
  6. That I can lay my book down and pick it up from the same place tomorrow.

My husband would travel 26 weeks of the year if he could. And, he could, with some limitations.

But he likes to travel with me. And I like to make him happy.

There, as the British say, is the rub.

The rub can chafe. The chafe can fester into a wound. The wound can become infected and kill the relationship.

Neither of us wants that.

So, sometimes I travel with him.

Here are my suggestions for non-travelers who vacation with avid travelers.

  • Be honest: Say, “I don’t want to make that two-mile hike to the waterfall.”
  • Compromise: “If I rest in the condo today, I’ll enjoy the luau tonight.”
  • Ask questions: “How disappointed will you be if I don’t go on the boat ride?”
  • Volunteer your preferences: “I would rather not attend the lecture on lava types.”

Dan and I are two different people. We are glad we are.

He will not convince me to enjoy war movies. I will not persuade him to read The Woman in White.

But I will not tell him that watching war movies is wrong, ignorant, stupid or a waste of time.

He will not tell me that reading The Woman in White is a moronic indulgence and I should be doing something else.

If I harp on Dan about watching war movies, I diminish his enjoyment of them. I take from him something that is not mine to take.

If he ridicules my enjoyment of British literature, he belittles my choice of reading material. He robs me of some of the pleasure that reading gives me.

He likes to travel. I like to be at home.

We live and let live.

That is because more than liking things, we love each other.

Win-Win arrows concept handwritten on yellow sticky note pinned on bulletin cork board.

 

 

 

 

13 thoughts on “SAY IT ISN’T SO!”

  1. Ahhh, Debbie, great advice. If only more young couples could read this. Marriage is give and take, being patient and tolerant, and thinking less of self in so many areas, even traveling and claiming the shower!

    1. Becky, we’ve learned a lot in our 40+ years of marriage, but I’m still learning! How about you? Any time you use words like “patient, tolerant and thinking less of self,” you are practicing the lifestyle of Jesus. That is not easy for any of us! Thank you for your encouragement!

      1. Thanks, Dee Dee! You’re the best! I’m working on a piece called “Blonde Leading the Blind.” What a fabulous title! I hope I can do it justice!! Love you,D

  2. I have wondered if God made us so different to help us learn patience and compromise. I know it works because we do complete each other with our different strengths and weaknesses but some days it would be nice if we were more alike. Enjoy making your memories and telling your stories when you get home. Love you guys

    1. Thanks, Pam. Yes, when we use our differences to complete each other, we are being wise. When we use our differences to compete, belittle, criticize, and judge, we are being unwise indeed. All of us slip up sometimes though. Hug those little girls today if you get a chance. I’m sure missing my little ones!

  3. Life is about living out our priorities– like prioritizing love over getting our own way. I wish we could ALWAYS live out our priorities. Unfortunately, I’ve messed up way too many times. Here’s hoping to our getting it right more often!

  4. Debbie,

    I’m with you a lot of the time. I’m definitely a homebody that only occasionally puts forth all the stress necessary to travel. Once in awhile I enjoy being somewhere else but I don’t like getting there. Travel is energy-draining. And then I can’t ever find my stuff. Lol

    Thank you for your light-hearted posts! I enjoyed the last one too about the interesting conversations in Hawaii. That one totally cracked me up!😂

    Hope you’re doing well, friend!💛🌻

    Looking up sometimes,
    Pearl Allard

    http://www.lookupsometimes.com

    1. Thank you, Pearl!

      Enjoying God’s beautiful creation. It doesn’t get much better than seeing rainbows and waterfalls!

      I am thankful that, although God COULD have chosen to remove all beauty from the earth when mankind, as a whole, rejected Him, He chose instead to leave us with much to enjoy!

      Sent from my iPhone

      >

    2. And then there is that awful six-hour time difference. My grandkids are getting off the school bus shortly after I get up some mornings!

      (Yes, I’m one of those people who would complain if you offered to hang me with a new rope!)

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