All posts by dscales24

I am a wife, mother, and grandmother who enjoys sharing life experiences through writing short, lighthearted articles. These are intended to entertain, inspire, motivate, and inform my readers. I hope to receive responses in which readers tell me if they relate to the articles and share with me ideas that my writings generated in them.

What I Wanted, but Didn’t Get, for Christmas

I enjoyed a wonderful Christmas season.

The best part of the holiday was spending time with my family. Have I mentioned I have grandkids?

But, as is always the case, (except in Christmas movies) I didn’t get everything I wanted.

You, good readers, are not responsible for my failure to receive these gifts. You’re the best. The fact that you’re reading this proves it.

Nonetheless, I will discuss some gifts I hoped, but failed, to receive for Christmas.

  1. I wanted all loud, hiked-up, smoke-spewing pick-up trucks to be banned from our streets and highways. This didn’t happen. I am confused. How is it that in a country where the American flag is removed from an academic building because one student claimed its presence offended her, these offensive gas-guzzling, fume-exuding behemoths continue to exist, though they pollute the air and assault the ears of 100% of the population?
  1. I wanted people to stop punctuating every other statement with the phrase, “O my God!” It is the response uttered whether someone has just spied a luscious new color of nail polish or been offered a two-carat diamond ring from a lover on bended knee. If I move into a cave where no one can find me, it will be because I can no longer tolerate hearing this phrase.

  1. I had hoped a magical fairy, something like a useful version of the Elf on the Shelf, would visit my home and organize all my paperwork and computer files. Alas, that gift also failed to arrive.

  1. I wanted to regain my slim figure and my ability to remember names; wished all spam calls and junk emails would stop; and hoped someone would develop a delicious, fat-free, carb-free, calorie-free, vitamin-enriched chocolate brownie that tastes like one made from a Duncan Hines mix, but those were pipe dreams.

  1. I wanted people to start using turn signals EVERY TIME they plan to make a turn, but, again, no.

  1. I had hoped people would learn and practice the rules of good grammar. Let me simply say that the word seen is almost NEVER the second word in a sentence. Speakers should not say, “I seen,” or “He seen,” or even “The Elf on the Shelf seen.” Furthermore, they should not mix subjective case and objective case personal pronouns when . . . oh, well. Never mind.

Thank you, dear readers, for indulging this little rant. What is the use of having a website if you can’t write about what’s on your mind?

I hope you got everything you wanted for Christmas.

KINDNESS, IN RED

I am, for the most part, a kind person.

My friends and acquaintances are kind, as are many of the people I meet day by day.

When I meet a person who is decidedly unkind, that person is usually driving a car.

Maybe driving and sharing the road with other drivers is the ultimate test of one’s ability to be kind.

But I am guessing that, perhaps apart from when you are driving, you are a kind person, and I applaud you for that.

Kindness is an admirable quality.

It appears within the list of the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5:22-23: But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

In our American English vocabulary, we sometimes substitute the words nice and good for the word kind.

We describe someone by saying, “He or she is a nice/good/kind person.”

By this, we mean that person gives freely, performs unselfish acts for others, and can usually be counted upon to do the right (rather than the wrong) thing.

Of these people, I say, “Let their tribe increase!”

But some people believe niceness/goodness/kindness is the criterion upon which our eternal destiny is based.

“Nice/good/kind people go to Heaven. Not nice/not good/unkind people go to Hell.”

While God’s Word certainly endorses kindness, nowhere does it assure us that everyone who demonstrates kindness will go to Heaven.

Christians know, but may need to be reminded, that the people bound for Heaven are those who have been saved by grace through faith. (Ephesians 2:8)

The combination of all the kind acts ever performed is not powerful enough to save even one of us.

The only cleansing agent that can remove the barrier of sin, the great separator between God and man, is Christ’s blood.

I love contemporary Christian songs.

I also love the old hymns we sang in the little church where I grew up. Those songs referenced blood more often than do the songs we sing in the wonderful church I am a part of today.

We sang There’s Power in the Blood, There Is a Fountain Filled with Blood, and Are You Washed in the Blood?

One old hymn included this line: When I see the blood, I will pass over you.

This song referenced the blood of lambs painted on doorposts on the night the death angel passed through Egypt.

That “saving” blood was a representation of the pure blood of Christ that would be shed centuries later to save you and me.

The ultimate kindness shown to mankind was shown in red: the blood of Jesus.

I found a graphic that represents this truth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keep being kind. You will be a happier person, and the world will be a nicer place.

But don’t count on your kindness to save you.

NICKEL AND DIMED

For years, I have had a checking account into which I deposit the money I earn from selling articles I write.

The account seldom has more than a few hundred dollars in it. (Writing, for me, is not a lucrative venture.)

But I enjoy having this account. I use the money to buy gifts for people, to donate to good causes, and occasionally to treat myself.

Dan never looks at this account.

He manages our major bank account, out of which he pays bills, makes charitable contributions, and runs our household. This account is with a different bank.

A few months ago I noticed a “fee” of $6 on my little bank account.

I printed the statement, took it to the bank, and asked why the fee was there.

“You didn’t use your debit card enough last month,” said the bank person.

“What?” I asked.

“You are required to use your debit card a minimum of 30 times a month in order to avoid paying a fee,” she said.

“The fee for having your debit card is $9 a month, but every time you use your card, the fee decreases. You used your card enough times last month to decrease the fee to $6. Use your card more times this month, and you can decrease the fee to zero.”

I am not a banker or a businessperson of any kind, but this sounded crazy to me.

“That doesn’t make sense,” I said, avoiding the use of the word crazy.

“Well, the next time you use your debit card to shop, at Walmart, for example, pay for items individually. Use your card several times on the same visit to the store.”

“Do you mean I should use my debit card to pay for my crackers, get my receipt, and then use my debit card to pay for my waxed paper, get my receipt, and then use my debit card again to pay for my ink cartridge, and so on?” I asked.

“You could do that,” she said. “You need to use your debit card at least 30 times a month.”

I must have looked as dumbfounded as I felt.

“You can change to a different kind of checking account that doesn’t require you to use your debit card 30 times a month, if you want to do that,” she said.

“I want to do that,” I said.

I went into an office, signed some papers, and went on my way.

The next month I had a fee of $5 on my bank statement.

I printed the statement and again went to the bank.

“Why do I have a fee of $5 on my bank statement?” I asked the bank person.

She looked at my account information on her computer screen and said, “Oh, I see you used this account to buy something online.”

“Yes,” I said.

“With the type of checking account you have, you are charged $5 a month to make online purchases.”

“I’ve made online purchases many times without being charged a fee,” I said.

“Did you recently change the type of account you have?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“The account you have carries a $5 monthly fee for making online purchases. You can change to a different kind of checking account that doesn’t charge you for making online purchases, if you want to do that,” she said.

“Not today,” I said.

With the next account I chose, the bank would probably have charged me for using their ATM, or for writing checks for less than $50, or for some other incidental reason I cannot anticipate.

Nickel and dimed is how I feel.

Before Christmas, I wanted to buy a Menard’s gift card. I drove to several nearby stores that have gift card kiosks, but I didn’t find a Menard’s card.

At one kiosk, I had a short conversation with another shopper.

“You probably won’t find a Menard’s card,” she said. “Just get a Visa or MasterCard. Those cards can be used at Menard’s.”

Great idea, I thought.

 I chose a Visa card for $50 and headed toward the cash register.

Then I noticed small print on the card packet informing me I would be charged money in order to activate the card. I believe it was $4.50.

I returned to the kiosk and put the card back in its place.

Nickel and dimed.

 

Yesterday, Dan and I took two of our granddaughters to see a movie. Before we left the house, I got online to buy tickets.

Two tickets for the girls cost a total of $14. Two tickets for senior citizens cost a total of $14.

My total cost, instead of being $28, was $32. A convenience fee of $1 per ticket would be charged for purchasing the tickets online.

Nickel and dimed.

The bank, the credit card company, and the movie theater have the right to charge fees.

They are in business to make money.

I can choose either to pay the fees or not use the services.

Businesses can wring me dry, if they choose to do so, and if I let them.

I, myself, am not a business. Neither are you.

We are individuals, but if we aren’t careful, we can adopt the nickel-and-dime attitude.

The aim of individuals with nickel-and-dime attitudes is to gain benefits for themselves at the expense of other people.

They don’t give over parking spots or hold doors open for people. They don’t let drivers pull into traffic ahead of them.

They don’t tip appropriately or volunteer to help.

Nickel and dimers buy fancy outfits, wear them to special events, and then return the outfits for full refunds.

They occupy four parking spaces with one vehicle.

They leave their empty shopping carts in the middle of the lot instead of returning them to the cart-return area.

They demand to watch TV shows no one else in the room wants to watch.

They use passive-aggressive behaviors to get their way, causing family members and coworkers to tiptoe around them in fear.

They feel and act as if they are entitled.

Such people wring other people dry.

Don’t nickel and dime people.

Instead, value them as equals. Look for ways to serve them. Treat them the way you want to be treated.

PLUMB GIVE OUT

I grew up hearing women say, “I’m plumb give out.”

Their grammar was flawed, but their meaning was clear.

These women were tired.

Mostly, they were tired from giving, so “give out” was an appropriate description of how they felt.

The women in my young world gave a lot.

They gave shampoos and birthday parties.

They gave advice. They gave benefit suppers and bridal showers.

They gave spankings and pats on the back.

They gave medicine to kids who pasted both hands over their mouths and planted their faces in couch cushions.

They gave spit baths to kids heading off to school.

They gave a care and a flying flip. They gave a hoot.

They gave manicures and pedicures to kids who curled their fingers and wrinkled their toes.

They gave lectures and shoelace-tying lessons.

They gave answers to endless questions.

They gave birth.

Women gave their word and never went back on it.

They gave instructions that were often ignored.

They gave stern looks and warm smiles.

They gave homework help and hot breakfasts.

They gave rides and gave permission.

Women gave hugs and kisses and warm hand squeezes.

They gave comfort, confidence, and courage.

They gave in, but they never gave up.

From the time they woke up to the time they went to sleep, they were called upon to give.

Is it any wonder they were plumb give out?

Women in today’s world still give.

And their giving involves more than the use of their heads and their hands. It engages their hearts.

In every act of giving, a woman gives away part of herself.

The tiredness that results is more than physical exhaustion. It is soul-deep and felt with every breath.

I can’t speak for every woman.

But I speak for many.

If you have a giving woman in your life, offer her these things: rest, aloneness, some time when no demands are made on her.

Give her a chance to be herself by herself.

Allow her to commune with God and become whole again.

Giving is her life, but she can’t give if she is plumb give out.

Watch Out! It’ll Get You!

A Christian writer was asked to speak at a large conference of believers.

Later, he wrote this about that experience.

He said that on his drive home from the conference, he thought, I’m an excellent public speaker. I captivated my audience today.

He realized then what an arrogant thought that was. He was ashamed of being prideful.

So, he uttered a prayer in which he confessed his prideful attitude and asked God to help him be humble.

Immediately after he said “amen,” he thought, That was a great prayer I just said.

I appreciate that writer’s honesty, because I struggle against the sin of pride.

The Bible is strong in its condemnation of pride.

The book of Proverbs warns that disgrace, destruction, and strife await the prideful person.

James 4:6 reads, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

Most Christians are familiar with the parable of the prideful Pharisee and the humble tax collector found in Luke 18:9-14.

Not one of us wants to be guilty of the sin of pride. But pride, also called hubris, can be hard to identify in oneself.

How can I know if I am prideful?

I can start by asking myself some hard, soul-searching questions.

  • Do I use my abilities to bless or to impress?
  • Am I happy with my accomplishments, even if no one knows about them?
  • How important to me is my level of attractiveness?
  • How much thought and effort do I put into self-promoting?

You may think the movie Amadeus is about the famous composer, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

It is not.

Amadeus is the story of a lesser known composer, Antonio Salieri.

Salieri, a pious composer, prays for greatness but recognizes true genius has come to a vulgar, distasteful man in the person of Mozart.

At every turn, Salieri’s efforts at composing are bested by Mozart’s work.

Talented though he is, Salieri cannot overcome his hatred of Mozart. He demands that God tell him (Salieri) why Mozart, and not himself, has been gifted with genius.

Salieri lives a miserable life of disappointment that culminates in his killing Mozart out of envy.

As I said, I struggle against the sin of pride.

I want to be a kind, generous person. I want to be a good grandmother. I want to write well.

Having those goals is not sinful.

But if I accomplish those goals, I will likely receive recognition.

It is in that recognition that the devil can get a foothold.

Satan will tempt me to cherish the recognition so that:

  • Instead of wanting to be a kind, generous person, I crave applause for my kindness and generosity. 
  • Instead of wanting to be a good grandmother, I seek recognition as Grandmother of the Year.  
  • Instead of wanting to use my gift of writing to glorify God, I focus on receiving more “likes” on Facebook, more “reposts” of my blogs, and more gold stars than my contemporaries.

Satan tempts me to make everything in my world about me. And my fallen nature sometimes sucks me into doing that.

Life, for me, is a continual effort to fall out of love with myself and to fall in love with Jesus.

And my biggest obstacle to doing that is pride.

What Is That in Your Hand?

When we had our other house, the house where the kids grew up and where we lived for over 30 years, I grew African violets.

This house had a south window, and my violets thrived there.

Purple Flowers

In our current house, I have no south window. I have no north window, for that matter. I have tried to grow violets everywhere in this house, but they will not thrive.

So, I resorted to having a philodendron plant, the one plant no one can kill. It grows despite placement in a disagreeable location and even neglect by its owner.

 

And I do neglect my philodendron.

We had to move it when we put up the Christmas tree.

A poor, pitiful thing it was.

Dead, brown leaves; crooked, misshapen vines; and a rootbound under-life, I’m sure.

When we moved the plant, pangs of guilt attacked me, for it was as dry as a rock bed.

So I watered it.

I went to the kitchen and counted the steps needed to carry water from the sink to the plant stand.

Eighteen steps.

I let weeks go by, months maybe, between waterings of that plant, and why?

It wasn’t because I didn’t have the water it needed. It wasn’t because I was unable to walk the 18 steps from the kitchen to the plant stand.

It was because of apathy. I didn’t care enough about that plant to ensure its survival.

My attitude and actions said to the plant, “Go ahead. Die.”

I wonder how many other things/people/situations exist toward which I feel apathy.

I have what they need, but I withhold it from them.

Do you remember when God met with Moses at the burning bush?

After Moses was well into his discourse against doing the thing God commissioned him to do, God asked Moses a question.

“What is that in your hand?” (Genesis 4:2)

You know it was a staff. Moses threw it on the ground, and, in a frightening display of power, God turned the staff into a snake.

The story of Jesus feeding 5000+ people with a boy’s lunch of five small loaves of bread and two little fish is recorded in all four Gospels. (Matthew 14, Mark 6, Luke 9, John 6)

This story is familiar to you. Great hungry crowds surround Jesus.

The disciples want to feed them.

Jesus asks (paraphrase), “What have you got?”

You know the rest of the story.

God can use you to accomplish wonders with things you’ve already got.

Let’s take an inventory.

What have you got?

A warm smile? A hug? A stash of encouraging, unaddressed greeting cards?

Clothes, shoes, dishes, furniture, toys, machines you don’t need or rarely use?

Excess money you can’t take with you when you leave earth?

The ability to change a headlight, babysit a child, oversee a funeral meal, provide transportation to a doctor appointment, or do yardwork?

God put those things in your hands for you to use. If you need them for yourself, okay.

If you don’t need them, rest assured someone else does.

Maybe, like Moses, all you have is a stick and a stuttering tongue.

Or, similar to the disciples, all you have are two frozen Banquet pot pies.

Not much in your hands.

But in God’s hands?

WOW!

What is that in your hand?

If you have it, aren’t using it, and someone else needs it, your apathetic attitude may be saying to them, “Go ahead. Do without.”

And, by the way, you are not expressing that attitude just to the people who need what you have. You are expressing that attitude to the One who gave those gifts to you.

Of course, the best thing you can give anyone is an introduction to the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

OPENING MY HAND WITH OFFERS TO YOU

  1. I can edit. God put that ability into my hands.

If you need a document edited, send it to me. I promise either to edit and return it to you, or to respond telling you why I am unable to edit it.

Send me your family Christmas letter to enclose with your Christmas cards. Send me an apology or thank-you letter you want to send to someone but are uncertain about its grammar and punctuation. Send me your letter to Santa.

Please do not send me:

  1. A doctorate dissertation.
  2. An angry rant.
  3. Sensual, steamy scenes from a romance novel you’re writing.
  4. Your child’s homework.
  5. Scientific data containing crazy symbols I don’t recognize.

Send your document, up to two, double-spaced pages, to dscales24@yahoo.com, and I will edit it and return it to you.

2. I can teach. God put that ability into my hands.

I will give your child (or you) two free tutoring sessions in any of the language arts subjects (reading, writing, spelling, vocabulary, etc.) or math, up through pre-algebra.

You will need to provide transportation and textbooks, worksheets, etc. If the subject is upper elementary math, I may need the textbook to prepare ahead of the tutoring session.

Email me at dscales24@yahoo.com or call me at 812.350.8122 to set up a tutoring session.

What is that in your hand?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SMILE!

Here in central Indiana, we’ve endured a long stretch of dreary, sunless days.

I don’t know how many days the sun hid itself from us, but I’m guessing around 47.

Anyway, yesterday and today the sun has shown brightly.

I am so happy to see it, I could dance in the street.

But, I’ll restrain myself.

Instead, I’ll try to send a little happiness your way by sharing a few of my favorite jokes.

I would credit the originators of these jokes, but I don’t remember where I heard or read them.

Here they are, and you’re welcome.

Joke #1 Crayfish Haystack

A certain man had the unfortunate name of Crayfish Haystack. He was a friendly fellow and knew almost everyone.

He and his friend, Benny, traveled quite a bit, and everywhere they went, Haystack saw people he knew.

Benny was astonished!

“Do you know everyone?” he asked.

“Pertnear,” said Crayfish.

One day Crayfish and Benny visited Washington, D.C.

There they saw a crowd of people who were waiting, apparently, for some important person to speak on an outdoor platform.

Benny and Crayfish joined the crowd.

Within a few minutes, Crayfish saw President Trump step onto the stage.

Crayfish, of course, knew President Trump, so he made his way to the platform, shook hands with the President, and chatted for a few minutes.

When he returned to his spot in the crowd, he saw Benny lying flat on the ground, out cold.

“What happened to Benny?” Crayfish asked another person in the crowd.

“I don’t know,” the man answered. “I just asked him if he knew the name of the man on the stage talking to Crayfish Haystack, and he fainted.”

Joke #2 The Seatbelt

A driver was cruising along a city street when he saw flashing blue lights behind him.

It dawned on him suddenly, that law enforcement officials had announced they would be stopping random cars to make sure everyone in the car was wearing a seatbelt.

This driver was not wearing his seatbelt.

As quickly as he could, he reached up, grabbed his seatbelt, and buckled it securely.

He pulled to the side of the road, and the trooper pulled his car up behind him.

The trooper walked to the driver’s side of the car. The driver lowered his window.

“Look at my seatbelt,” said the driver. “I always wear it,  just as I’m supposed to.”

“License and registration, please,” said the trooper.

The driver reached toward the glove box to get his paperwork, but he couldn’t reach it.

“See?” said the driver. “I’m wearing my seatbelt.”

“I’m getting to that,” said the trooper. “License and registration, please.”

Again the driver tried to reach the glove box but couldn’t.

He stalled.

“Officer,” said the driver, “I know you’re checking to make sure I’m wearing my seatbelt, and, as you can see, I am wearing it. I always wear it.”

“Yes,” said the trooper, “I’m sure you do. But do you always loop it through your steering wheel like that?”

Joke #3 The Nearsighted Spinster

A certain spinster was advancing in age and was becoming desperate to find a boyfriend.

She knew men were not attracted to her because she was piteously nearsighted and wore thick-lensed glasses.

Finally, a man showed some interest. He went by the spinster’s house a few times and sat with her in her porch swing.

Things didn’t move along very fast, and the spinster was certain it was her glasses that stood in the way of her having a long-lasting relationship with this man.

One day, when she knew the man was coming for a porch swing visit, she walked far out into the pasture near her house. There she stuck a tiny sewing needle into the bark of a tree.

She went back home, removed her glasses, and sat in the swing to wait for her suitor.

He came, and as they talked, she looked intently toward the pasture.

“What is it?” asked the man.

“Why, I believe I see a sewing needle in the bark of one of those trees out there.”

“What?” asked the man. “You surely can’t see a needle from this distance.”

“Of course I can,” said the spinster. “I’ll go get the needle and prove it.”

The spinster went running out through the pasture, arms outstretched toward the tree, and tripped over a cow.

BRAVO!

Dan and I enjoyed one of our best evenings of 2019 last Monday.

Our six-year-old grandson, the one I refer to online as Shine, performed in his first piano recital.

The event was held at a beautiful residential center. The room sparkled with holiday lights.

The attendees consisted of about 20 performers; parents, grandparents, and friends of those performers; and several residents of the center.

Performers’ ages ranged from about 6, like Shine, all the way through late teens.

On cue, each young pianist introduced himself or herself, announced the title of the piece, sat on the piano bench, and played.

Every performance ended with a shy bow from the performer.

Some of the pieces played lasted less than a minute. Others, from the advanced players, were longer.

The audience was enraptured.

The spectators held their collective breaths and wished each participant nothing but complete success.

After each performance, the audience applauded enthusiastically.

When Shine’s turn came, he walked hesitantly toward the grand piano at the front of the room.

In a quiet voice he faced the audience, gave his name, and announced he would be playing Spooky Halloween.

I tensed, and tears filled my eyes as he seated his small body on the bench.

His teacher had instructed him to play his short piece twice.

Shine played Spooky Halloween once. Then he halted.

He looked at his mom in the audience. She gave him a smile, a nod, and a thumbs-up.

He then looked at his teacher, who also smiled, held up her pointer finger and whispered, “One more time.”

The audience listened to the song being played again.

Shine rose, bowed, and received an approving applause.

What a picture of the way life should be: Each participant doing his or her best at a chosen honorable endeavor, and everyone else applauding and encouraging.

All the pianists were outstanding. I would award first place to each of them.

But the grand prize I give to the supporting cast, the audience.

They were spectacular.

Each of us performs individually, but life is a team sport.

 

 

 

GEESE

Yesterday, as I walked down the driveway to put a letter in our mailbox, I saw and heard a flock of geese overhead.

The familiar black, v-shaped pattern was painted against the blue sky.

How beautiful is the example of geese who, like squirrels, hummingbirds, and other animals, make annual preparations for winter.

Seeing the geese, I offered up a silent prayer of thanksgiving.

I thanked God for instilling animals with instincts for their protection and preservation.

I thanked Him that these animals follow the pattern He gave them.

Geese don’t abandon God because His ways don’t make sense to their enlightened minds.

They don’t question the codes He implanted in their natures.

They are and they do exactly what they were created to be and to do.

If only humans were so wise and so faithful.

On Thursday, I will celebrate Thanksgiving.

My heart will overflow with gratitude for the numberless blessings God has given me.

But on Monday, I celebrated geese.

NO

When I was growing up in rural Arkansas, my dad owned a general store. It wasn’t an impressive place, but it offered most of the things people needed.

It sat just up the road from our house. Every day at noon Dad walked home for lunch.

I don’t know that “hours of operation” were ever posted, but everyone knew when the store was open.

One old man always wanted to shop between noon and one o’clock.

He did not drive to the store because he knew the store was closed.

He drove to our house, where Dad was eating lunch.

The man didn’t park on the side of the road by our house. (We had no driveway.)

He drove his old-timey, heavy, black car up to the verge of our yard. There he sat, scowling, and waiting for Dad to come out and open the store especially for him.

From behind our living room curtains, my siblings and I watched him: an angry old man sitting in our front yard, inside a gangster car, its shiny grill aimed right at our front porch.

We kids knew (and the old grouch knew) Dad would not be intimidated.

After he finished his lunch, Dad walked back to the store, with the black car trailing him.

Dad didn’t feel obliged to meet unreasonable expectations of others. He was not a people pleaser.

For years, I had trouble refusing any request.

Early in our marriage, when Dan and I had almost no excess money, I opened the front door one day to a lightbulb salesman.

This man was selling lightbulbs guaranteed to last forever.

“These bulbs will never burn out,” he said.

I bought a box of five for $25.

I didn’t want or need the lightbulbs, but I could not find the courage to say no to the salesman.

Dan came home soon afterward. When I told him what I had done, he got back into his car, carrying the box of lightbulbs. He found the salesman, who was still peddling in the neighborhood.

Dan retrieved my $25 check and gave the lightbulbs back to the seller.

I simply have trouble telling people no.

Back when friends had parties for the purpose of selling cookware, wall art, makeup, vitamins, and the like, I went when I was invited.

I never wanted to go. Usually I found the least expensive item for sale and bought it.

I went to those parties simply to be nice.

I want to be nice, and you probably do too.

But recognize the difference between being nice and being a people pleaser.

When I am nice, my concern is for the other person. That reflects kindness.

When I am a people pleaser, my concern is for my own image. That reflects selfishness.

According to an article I found at www.learning-mind.com, being a people pleaser leads to unhealthy consequences.

  • People use you.
  • You suppress far too much.
  • Nobody will ever know the true you.
  • You have extreme pressure to keep up appearances.
  • You become a control freak.

Jesus’ concern was always for others. But a people pleaser, Jesus was not.

He spoke the truth. He carried out His God-given mission. He was not interested in being popular or enabling people to be selfish.

My mission is to serve God and other people.

This means I should say no when saying yes is harmful to the other person.

I should say no when the other person’s expectations are unreasonable.

And this is the hard one. I should say no when I am tempted to say yes simply to be a people pleaser.